It’s a Cyber Fuckin’ Monday Sale. When This Ends You Fucking Blew It.



It’s a Cyber Fuckin’ Monday Sale.

2021-11-29 23:59 00 Hours : 00 Mins : 00 Secs

The Wide Guide 2.0

Here it is. The definitive answer to the ultimate question. The masses have asked, and great minds have pondered: "Which Pit Vipers will fit my face best?"

Well pucker up, buttercup, and we'll get you sized up right. Even the perfect pairing of Human & Pit Vipers can be ruined by trying to jam things that won't fit into the wrong place.


(in descending order of girthy-ness)


Size doesn't matter. Well, to some it doesn't. These shades are the biggest ones we have on offer, and are a great fit for those with wider faces. Don't let our larger-than-life attitude fool you though, if your noggin is average sized, you'll fit in nicely running with a pair of these puppies. Best to opt for comfort, right?
Frame Width: 5.86 in / 149 mm

(vector image of Double Wides here)


These two styles are built on the same deluxe, turbocharged, high performing & full throttle skeleton. The frame's fit is in between the Originals & Double Wides, not too wide, not too narrow, aiming to please everyone. Built for performance, these shades are made to last, and are a great fit for most medium-sized craniums.
Frame Width: 5.66 in / 144 mm

(vector image of 2000s/Intim. here)


Never forget where you come from. These shades are the foundation upon which Pit Viper has built its fortress of world domination. Though these are the shades that started it all, it is good to note that these are definitely a slimmer fit. Those with average-and-wider faces should beware, and would be better off with a wider pair.
Frame Width: 5.43 in / 138 mm

(vector image of Originals here)


Just like with concussions, mullets, and hot dog addiction, you gotta start 'em young. Although these are the smallest shades we make, there's no sacrifice on quality here, these shades are still built to last and go fast. Though the Pit Viper XS were designed to help your delightful little crotch goblins look as stylish and powerful as mom and dad, they are also suitable for smaller heads of all walks of life. If you've got a petite skull, then these shades will make you feel right at home.
Frame Width: 4.9 in / 125 mm

(vector image of PVXS here)