Speed Fleece Nightman

2 parts speed, 2 parts fleece, and 3 parts sex, the Speed Fleece hat is guaranteed to be the fastest thing a human head can wear. The Speed Fleece hat features ear-cupping technology for the chairlift rides and flip-upping technology for aprés auditory penetration. We also know you're the fastest skier on the mountain, so we put a bungee on here to keep the hat on your head and off of the snow. Trust us, we tested it. The Speed Fleece hat is for skiing. (Or whatever else gets your rocks off.)