Become a Pit Viper Expert

Learn about why Pit Vipers are the most premium sunglasses on the market.

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Group of people in formal attire with sunglasses giving thumbs up, Pit Viper Training Management Center logo visible.

Welcome to Pit Viper’s Onboarding Seminar. Your new position requires a fundamental training of all this sh*t we totally didn’t make up to get you to look at our new collection of Pit Vipers. Am I trying to sell you something? I can’t really say, but yes.

Keep in mind - at the cornerstone of workmanship and professionalism lay Pit Viper’s foundational pillar, demanding respect & authority. Your journey to becoming a certified shade expert starts now.

Training Essentials

Everything you need to survive onboarding—and UV rays.

I know you want to buy something

Module 1 - The UV Ray Solution

Group of people in a meeting room with a screen displaying 'The UV Ray Solution'.
  • UVA, UVB, UVC, I can name them all. The bottom line is if you’ve got Pit Vipers on you’re safe from whatever ultraviolet harm can happen to your eyeballs. How do I know this? I talked to a scientist. What kind of scientist? That's none of your business.
Sunglasses with colorful frame and pink lenses on a fiery background

Sun Blocking 101

Pit Vipers offer 100% UV protection, shielding your eyes from the sun and all that invisible sh*t radiating off of it. Want more than just 100% UV protection? Choose a polarized lens to block out glare that bounces off water, roads, or whatever shiny crap is in your way.

Module 2 - The Evolution of Sunglasses

Man in a suit pointing at a screen displaying an 'Evolution of Sunglasses' graphic.

Long before Pit Vipers, gasballs (lol) exploded into the sun. Over the following ~4.69 billion years the gradual evolution of the earth, and all beings on it, led to some sh*t the sun never saw coming... eyeballs. Deemed as a biological weapon by basically everyone, the sun was demonized for years... until 12 years ago when Pit Vipers hit the market. How do I know this? I was there.

Can We Learn From History?

The Pit Viper Original didn’t just show up out of nowhere - it evolved, just like we evolved from the homoerectus. What started in 2012 as sunglasses that you could run over with your car now offers more premium lens quality, durability, and all-day comfort with the release of the Original 2.0.

The Original 2.0

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Module 3 - Jobsite Survival

Person pointing at a screen displaying 'Vehicle Survival' with images of people and vehicles.

Life is a jobsite, and also every job is a jobsite. Guess what happens at jobsites? Danger. Evade the imminent threat of various hazards with ANSI Z87+ Safety Rated Pit Vipers, and keep your eyeballs exactly where they're supposed to be.

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Stop Danger

Shrapnels, BB pellets, power drill debris, shards of glass, flying staples, dust storms, snowflakes (icy), bodily fluid, sand blasting particles, vapors, bottle rockets, confetti, metal shavings, darts, toy helicopters, fibers, roman candles, high-pressure steam jets, breaking it off with your fiancé. The hazards are never ending.

Module 4 - Find the Hole

Two men shaking hands in a conference room with a screen displaying a golf game.

Billionaires everywhere have been saying it for years, the best deals are made at the hole. If you want to conduct enough business to be a Fortune 420 CEO in this lifetime you'll have to enhance your vision on the green. That's why we made HDPV Pit Vipers, the most unparalleled vision enhancing lenses on the market.

Two people on a golf course with one person in a golf cart and the other attempting to stop it, with 'HDPV ON' and 'HDPV OFF' labels.

Greener Greens

HDPV lens technology brings a whole new meaning to green. Optimized light filtration and unparalleled color definition guarantee a 69% higher chance of finding the hole.