It’s a Cyber Fuckin’ Monday Sale. When This Ends You Fucking Blew It.
EVERTHING IS 35% OFF!
USE CODE '35OFF'
It’s a Cyber Fuckin’ Monday Sale.
The Pit Viper College Agent Application
You asked for it (way too many times it was actually pretty annoying) and now we’re giving it to you. This is your chance to ascend from mere college student to bonafide campus legend. This is pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity so read carefully and take your time filling this out. We’re going to get a shit ton of applications for this, so if you want to be seriously considered you’re going to have to make your application damn good. If you want to win, this application will be better than any work you’ve done since you found out two weeks into freshman year that every-night can be a party night.
Your Tasks as an Agent:
- Throw Pit Viper Sponsored parties. We’ll provide you with money, supplies, and shades to give away. You’ll be in charge of planning and execution.
- You are the Official Pit Viper Representative on campus
- Create relationships between our brand and campus organizations
- Help Pit Viper road team out at events in your area
- Monthly tasks and projects
Agent criteria: What we’re looking for:
- YOU MUST BE A COLLEGE STUDENT (follow this link if you aren’t a student and really want in)
- YOU MUST BE 21 OR OLDER BY 9/31/20 NO EXCEPTIONS (seriously if you’re not we’re not going to read your application)
- Creativity: You don’t have to be the next Georgia O’Queef but you can’t just be any geek off the streets. Our brand thrives on radical and crazy ideas, if you want to be part of it you better have some.
- Commitment to the Pit Viper Lifestyle: We’re looking for agents who demand Respect and Authority, while exuding the perfect blend of Style and Performance.
- Party-Throwing ability/Social skills/Leadership: Throwing parties is going to be one of your major responsibilities as an Agent. Do you have the skills, experience, and resources necessary to do this?
- Experience: What sets you apart from every other campus chad/chadette? (minus 10 points if that’s actually your name). You’re going to be representing our brand so we need to know that you are responsible and can accomplish tasks without us holding your hand. Held down a cool job? President of a club on campus? Spent a gap year living in a Commune? Play rhythm guitar in a band and love to wear jorts?
- Humor: Make it funny. We wanted to say make it sexy but our legal team said that could get us in a lot of trouble. So just make us laugh instead.
- GPA: We don’t really care about this and it won’t affect how we judge your application in any way. That being said we could all use a good laugh right now.
Our End of the deal: What you’ll get from us besides eternal Pit Viper Glory:
- Gear: Sunglasses and other shit
- Cool factor: Being a Pit Viper Agent is really cool. You already know this. That’s why you’re applying. You’re gonna get laid a lot too, if you’re into that sort of thing.
- Budget: we’re gonna set you up with a pretty generous party budget each semester to help you execute your vision.
- Work Experience: Field Marketing experience for your resume. Get your parents off your back--this is your job now (it just doesn’t pay or technically count as an internship).
- Road to a job with Pit Viper: It’s like insanely hard to get a job here and it’s probably one of the coolest places you could ever work. This could be your only chance to get an “in”.
- Be a Pit Viper Insider. You’ll be the first to know about and get your hands on new products. If we’re in your area you’re partying with us and attending our events as a Pit Viper representative.
- Dream Trip to Utah: The cream of the crop from each class of Agent is getting flown out to Utah to help us plan and throw our biggest party of the year. All expenses paid, well, most. We’ll even take you skiing at Alta.